The year was 2022—I think it was October, or was it August? Honestly, I can’t tell you when the “Be a Blogger” idea came about. I had finished and published The Shed and along with it, created my own website. I do remember feeling proud and excited about my new venture and lofty goals. I loved it when my friends, family, and acquaintances read my thoughts and shared their own unique experiences and opinions. But here we are, almost three years later, and there are a whopping three posts on my page. Yup!
I have to be transparent though. My struggles are real and maybe not that different from yours. I sometimes start things and don’t follow through. Then, I hammer myself to pieces with phrases like You’re so lazy or You’re too old to do that. Like clockwork, the self-pity takes me down a rabbit hole of self-deprecating thoughts, reigniting the words that relentlessly beat me down. To make things worse…Since turning 50, I was gifted with Menopause. With it, brain fog, hot flashes, and bouts of depression hit me so hard, making my head spin…literally! Somebody should have warned me about the mental and physical changes I would face. But I digress. I’ll address the dreaded M word in a later post.
The past couple of years have been a rollercoaster. Our oldest son graduated from college, our youngest son is now in his second year of college in Arizona, and our daughter graduates from high school this year. Six months ago, My grandmother passed away—the one I wrote about in 2022. Oh…and I adopted a puppy! Needless to say, my emotions have been all over the place. Grappling with living an empty house and mothering a fur baby have been full of joy and pain. The “kids” still need us, financially and emotionally, morphing my husband and me into advisor/lender only status. We definitely missed the memo on the challenges of raising adults. For me, it is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done in my life. The constant worry is beyond exhausting! Despite the bumpy ride, we’re blessed that all three of our children are headed down good paths. Fingers crossed!
Whelp! It’s 2025, and I’ve crawled out of the hole and have a fresh perspective on my life. Prayer and being active in my church community have done wonders, along with much needed medication. SIX, my second psychological thriller, is being released this month, and the journey surrounding it has lifted my spirits and motivated me to start writing again! Was it all sunshine and rainbows though? Absolutely not! Just ask my husband. I shed tears, slamming my laptop shut a billion times, wanting nothing more than to just give up. I constantly battled recurrent thoughts like, This is stupid, You really suck and Why are you even doing this? My husband, a frequent spectator to my many tantrums, held my hand as I powered through the writing process. He’s always been the calm to my storm, assuring me that “this is all part of it, and it’s going to work out.” Ask and accept help when you need it, widening your circle if you have to, letting people in who will STAY in your corner.
So, what’s the point? Glad you asked.
Don’t. Count. Yourself. Out.
Maybe you don’t have this elaborate goal of losing fifty pounds or winning American Idol. Yours may be simpler, like wanting to get more sleep at night or traveling somewhere you’ve never been. Be intentional, put in a little effort every day to reach your goal, and before you know it, you’ll feel more rested and have enough money in your account to visit Italy (that was for me!)
Whatever you do, don’t get caught in the intricate web of the comparison game. Turn off social media, and stop scrolling! The people you’re following have problems too—some even bigger than yours! Get off your phone, and do something! Limit yourself to an hour a day, instead of the four you normally spend on your phone. And guess what? That extra time goes a long way. Believe me when I tell you that I am the master of the finger swipe, and it was consuming my brain and my free time. I know you hear it all the time, but life IS short. So, fill it with what means the most—spirituality, family, friends, hobbies, dreams…the list goes on and on.
Everyone has their something they want to do or get better at. Life is full of pit stops and pitfalls, but it’s not over until it’s over. It’s okay to cry and yell and even get mad at God sometimes, when things aren’t going as planned. But your life doesn’t have to stop because you stalled. Crank that engine back up, and do whatever it takes to get back to YOU and who HE designed you to be! Remember…You’re different on purpose.
Most of all, FORGIVE YOURSELF for not being perfect!
