Are You Pulling Your Weight?

I just left the movie theater. I’m still teary eyed after watching 2 1/2 hours of A Man Called Otto. I won’t give it away for those of you who haven’t read the book or seen the movie yet. It was funny, sad and inspiring. 

I got up from the comfy recliner immediately asking myself how have I pulled my weight on this earth? It was a phrase used by the main character, Otto, in the movie. I know the answer lies within that dash everyone talks about between your birthdate and deathdate. 

I’ve never been a deep philosophical person. I’m not the smartest, and as I revealed in a past post, I don’t have a slew of visible talents. I do have gifts, but how have they impacted others? To answer the question of how I’ve pulled my weight requires a much more thorough self examination. When I think about pulling weight, I think about being part of a team. How does each member, whether it be a sport, an organization, or a relationship, contribute to the overall well being of the collective group? What value does each member bring to the table? Everybody can’t be the quarterback or the CEO. But without back up, none of these people would be as great as they are. You cannot live life to the fullest by operating alone. For this reason, it is our responsibility to pull our weight, ensuring that we are serving others so that we can ALL be great. We all have a purpose beyond our mere existence.

“If you aren’t serving, you’re just existing, because life is meant for ministry.”

— Rick Warren

Honestly, I’ve been in this place for a good portion of my life, hyper focused on me and mine, forgetting about them and theirs. I consistently used the excuses of being too busy or too tired to give any more beyond my immediate family. My mother in law always says people make time for what they want to do. The statement used to unnerve me. Why? Because it’s true. Being a Mom, especially in the era of helicopter parenting, is daunting. My kids’ extracurricular activities have consumed my life for over twenty years. I loved every moment of track, baseball and cheerleading. I rarely missed a meet, game, or school function. Now that those days are coming to an end, I can’t help but look back and wonder what if I failed in any way. Did I pour into my kids enough of the “other stuff” they needed to be great adults instead of just good athletes? Did I neglect my parents? Did I miss out on valuable connections with family or friends, or did I short change myself? 

Maybe the answer to all those questions is yes. But, now what? I’m on the verge of being an empty nester, and my perspective on how I contribute to society has drastically changed. I pay closer attention to how my words and actions impact others. In prayer, I’ve gotten more selfless by asking God on a daily basis to protect, heal, and bless others. 

I also examine how others show up in my own life. My parents are always there for me. I’ve often taken that for granted because they haven’t ever NOT been there for me. They’ve always comes through in a clutch, whether it’s been driving to my house to bring my Amazon packages in or taking my kids to events when I couldn’t go. The list goes on and on. My parents give to others too. They often give back to those who provide services to them. I think about my close friends and family who are always there to encourage me with a good word or compliment. My husband not only cheers me on but motivates others to be their best selves. 

Pulling your weight doesn’t have to always be heavy or extraordinary. It’s about being selfless and making sure others feel valued. The amazing thing about making an impact is that it’s never too late to do it. That’s the biggest lesson I got from the movie. 

My aunt, Stephanie, passed away in 2002. What I remember most about this incredible woman was her giving spirit. Stevie, as we called her, treated my cousins, my sister, and me as her own children despite not having any of her own. Throughout our childhood, she’d buy us clothes and take us to the movies. I vividly remember riding on the L to Water Tower Place in downtown Chicago to see ET. She had a huge collection of Betty and Veronica comic books. At my leisure, she’d let me retrieve them from her wardrobe closet, and I’d climb up on her tall twin sized bed and read them for hours at a time. Stevie was well educated, successful, and independent. She made me feel smart and important because she was genuinely interested in my likes and dislikes, always treating me with respect. Stevie and I shared a love for Harry Potter, and together, we took my kids and little cousins to see the first movie in the series, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. She doted on my my fist born child, just like she had done to me. As an adult, I wanted to model my life after hers, providing the same experiences she gave me to my little cousins and children. She was a game changer in my life. She taught me to give freely from the heart without expecting to get something in return. 

Recently, our former librarian passed away. During her years at our school, I’d always say that if I lived another life I’d want to come back as either my dog Smokie or the librarian at my school. At the time, they both brought me joy and seemed to live carefree lives doing exactly what they wanted to do. Mrs. S, the librarian, wasn’t glamorous or outspoken. Instead, she was unapologetically HER. She had a knack for making every moment a teachable one. From scratch, she would make the coolest things like dollhouses and stuffed animals and connect them to the books she read to her students. She loved animals and insects and brought them to school so that students could learn about them up close and personal. As I listened to her lessons, I’d sit back, mesmerized by her intellect and artistry. Her creativity and warmth left a huge impact on me and the students she taught. Every time I walk in our library, I can feel her presence. I can see her sitting on her purple stool with a book in her hand. I can still hear her soft voice reading to students. She poured into others through her gift of creativity. 

Both of these remarkable women left indelible impressions on me and everyone around them. They were both smart, kind, and selfless. There’s no question that they pulled their weight on this Earth in the most beautiful simple ways. 

How are you pulling yours?